Eye Strain
	7/7/2020 THIS IS A BIG WAVE TO EVERY 1 WHO HANGS OUT. BIG ARC , FRIENDLY WAVE -=) I found that neocities gives a analytics page for my site. It shows me site hit counts on a graph; so thanks neocities and thank YOU buds over air wave I would like to tell you guys straight up im going to chop most of my post from 3 days ago----- . I just got worked up because maybe some times I feel left out or excluded from things. The truth is- I am the one who completely excludes myself- not my friends doing it to me. they are good humans. i search deep down and pull the real emotion out of that well. Quarantine makes it harder to escape from those types of situations, the brain playing tricks on my emotions, which would allow it to not bottle up inside me and become anger or sadness twisted towards others/. My friends, roommates, are all kind, caring, and inclusive people and they dont care nor should i care what they or I do or dont do. That was dumb of me to look down on any1 else. sorry guys,,,, (sending telepathically- prettysure they dont read this. i see them and talk to them every day). and i gota check myself on that type of stream of thought. cuz i duno. its just dumb to be a baby about shit. Radar: Scan some of my physical drawings this week- just mix it in with the blog ,,Yea that would be good. need to work on this section of the site too, maybe have page # at the bottom so you can kinda navigate. Like 10 posts per page. gota be careful though- blog sites i sometimes visit have that chronological date NAV on the side bar that overwhelms the f out of me. i end up looking at LESS because it is all tucked away in such away that makes it hard to explore. My blog is pretty hard to explore i am sure too. but lets turn that into organized chaos ? Peace+1 Love  Jack vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
	7/6/2020      while making last vid, I got aahead of myself with the pre production. thats alright though and honestly a nice way to go about things. Because it sets me up nice for the next part of the proj, with the pieces that i didnt have time to use in the release.      Okay now a Realistic perspective: modeling, texturing, designing, and lighting A Forest is a mad difficult task when you get to the bottom of things. When you are in the woods, on the ground, at eye level, high above you, in the distance, what do you see exactly>> Dense amount of organic material......now walk 300 meters to your left. A totally DIFFERENT SET OF DENSE ORGANIC MATERIAL.. There is no easy way that I know of to make that space, with my style . yea yea maybe you got your fancy woods generator add on that you use to get cucked on art station ,,, thats not my Jam rock star --- i do it my way or the hi way. and i think my way will be by being smart about it and just making sure i am not over extending myself creating the forest, but still paying close attention to the detail required for a convincing space         thats building the set..thats the 1st tackle. next i got my dudes moving through it. for me, that is the more difficult piece of the puzzle. Since they are moving dynamically through non planar space, it May involve a *uck ton of tedious hours moving pose to pose or tweaking a walk cycle along a path to grab ANYTHING CLOSE to believable movement. That is hard as fuck!!!!! Mostly because of the raw Time investment. This is crazy jack I said, But thats my shittt i said after     And also, i said after those 2 things : there must be an easier way . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .     A challenge... I must accept.... Or I will never learn and grow.      Last month, the major output was the video composting, the audio, the traditional (digital) animation... All fun stuff for me- But behind the scenes I was struggling with the best method to take down the animal a.k.a. the forest interior.      The story has been written since day 1 here- the vision, I got that. The tools; i gotthat. the drive i gottttthhhaaaaatttt. But the SKILLS: do i possess the skills necessary to make a good forest interior.? The skills are being grown... in that green house      Last nite i had a big break through with a fresh project file for an interior shot- it produced 3 separate scene structures, 2 of which still need closer attention and details added. But the process i came up with is nice enough that i will be able to apply it to other scenes. Then i gota think/story tile how i will shoot my scenes, and things start to appear easier to manage in the rearview if 2 characters are walking and talking... Most of the shots can be Close ups. Very few medium shots will be required. I will bounce from close up, xtreme close up, Long shots, and xtreme long shots. Maybe tap a medium shot in a pan for transitionary purposes but never on a hold. That way.... I can Fake a lot of it till i make a lot of it      short cuts are necessary and pay off in the end with the time it allows me to focus on the animation. The animation of it all is what I really enjoy and like to direct my attention on. I am starting to care a lot about tempo too;; the pacing; the structure, whatever you call it ,,,,      But . everything else has to be wicked too . or else i wouldnt be happy with it. I am not a perfectionist but i gota tackle visions with the best of my abilities. if i dont at least give it my all then im just a sucker...       I am hoping to come across a clean solution to a texture effect puzzle i have set for myself during this whole forest planning process. I know what I want the effect to look like- but i am still figuring the best possible tool on my toolbelt to make it worth the effort      today, the weather is beautiful. There is a breeze comin in to my bedroom window as I type this. The sun shines and I am relaxed. This is very much a nice feeling When I think of versus how I am in my head during the late stages of a vidd. I would say that feeling is semi manic, inwardly. obsessive and slightly worried it will never reach the final stage. So I work like mad jumping to the necessary steps to finish it so I can be calm again    I like the cycle of work. I  like relaxation once in awhile though too-.but , i like to stay on my toes peac3
	7/4/2020         -retracted thoughts- -change of heart-        Every1s journey is unique I have to remember, remind myself that fact... my body is my minds temple. please You will not disturb the temple!
	i always catch myself blocking forward momentum in my projects because I am Scared of technical failure- Not to be confused with artistic failure- I am confident in the things I make. Even if they fail artistically- the journey making the thing is stilldope its the Technical failure that is scary- My work flow is like..... imagine constructing a human sized escalator out of lincoln logs...... yeah some thing like that. Half the time i am unsure if half the things will even work by the time I get to stage X in the process, let alone be cohesive at all. Cue a day or several of brain bouncing the stupid idea all for a stylistic decision Ive got to get right that wont matter to 99% of people watching. BUT... that is where the hidden Soul (tm) is packaged i think. I think most of the CG things we see today are pretty much glued together with popsicle sticks and elmers glue contraption- or at least that is my perspective from where my work flow stands. A lot of solutions are work arounds and tricks- and thats just the way it goes baby 6/22
	6/20/2020 cleverness: is a holy trait in the realm of progress. technical "work arounds" to hard problems we are faced with.- a situation that requires clever solutions.. Like the man from jurrasic park said 'clevaa girll'.... about the raptor. it surprises others- in unexpected ways. Inventiveness; ingenuity,,,,, mad important,... big brain sh*t . game idea: Hookah Lounge Simulator 2020 footbags keep breaking ,,. the stitching blows out excited to start animating my characters for this next 1. hi production value is my motto for this 1 =) p3eace- JACK
	6/17/2020     There are so many ways to grow. Mastering all artform=impossible. Art is endless; greater than you me and any human life. That is why it is powerful even if it seems silly- it is the only thing worth doing because nothing matters. it is the greatest legacy you coul;d ever leave. because creation is special. mind creation is extra special/ use the godspark now or lose it- it truly is up to you. and that is beauty freedom of mind in action =) On a side note- fuck the beetles (band)      Experimental films are cool- some times hard to watch, my mind wanders... I hhave thought a lot about novel experimentation with  traditional 2d animation. A lot of existing examples are trash, from the 60 70 80s. some is good. But often i notice: the beuaty in mastery of craft was thrown out the window in favor of an experimental wild implementation instead. Theres gotta be a balance.... If the movement sucks to watch, hurts the eyes, then i dont care how far from mars your ideas are... you gota bring the screen nectar along with the fried ideaa../     Science, technology, math help us understand the domain Help us to grasp the chaos. But they do not lead to inner truth of the chaos realm. They are best-guesses at the nature of things. Is mathematics found, or is it created? I am not sure-. Does vegetation need mathematics to be the supreme life form? Present on earth rock for eons. the vegetation time scale is stretched far beyond our little human time scale. Mother Gaia=Ancient Plant Life. The elders of the earth rock. Do not see, they do not hear, they do not care. Letting it all occur--THAT is intelligent
	6/11/20 Guna make a forest off the hiway- I paintedd my bicycle in real life. It looks good now. also changed the head set because my other 1 was cracked (deadly) Video graphics for Fiske, Matt and Eustis remain- everyone else is completed. Made a dope thrasher intro that im really proud of - cant wait for everyone to see it soon. I think nick is doing a sicky job on the video as a whole- i am happy to add value. It is a rainy day finally- I think i am gona move to Antarctica. if i had an indoor skate park insulated under ground with a missle silo home and internet access and my stuff i have now. i would be set for life baby
	6/6/2020           I have finished my project!!!! I am happy. I am planning on stitching all 6 parts together into a single video, in order to PREMIERE it to friends on a projector screen with popped corn and chairs. I think it will run between 10-12 minutes after trimming some fat and adding in a few deleted scenes that I left on the chopping blok. I think that qualifies as a short film.... Perhaps I will give sun dance a run for their money //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////                                ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////   What's next Jack? they asked. i will be boarding a large clipper ship this afternoon ,to embark on a  spiritual journey in Shenzhen, China. Once there,I will spec out the processer and VRAMcomponents needed to begin production on the VideoPix Player prototype model. sso just Look forward to that Peace-jack
	5/31/2020 Apple iVisited  an abandoned gelatin manufacturing plant yesterday. Large pipes, running in intricate networks spanned the complex. Leading to and originating from giant silo tanks with chemical labels on the sides. A massive building with vats for mixing the gelatin and chemicals. Everything was over grown and eroding.... Very cool sights, but the oddest part was the absence of grafitti. Place was untouched. This stood out to me so much because for the majority of abandoned locations where I am, they all have a coat of the typical grafitti playground all over the walls and surfaces. Hopefully you can picture what I am talking about. This gelatin plant has been abandoned since the late 90s though. It was so odd. Great experience. A friendly email in my mailbox yesterday, dropped by to say hello and share their latest video. This video was wicked and left me feeling great about the state of "the independent creator". I have more words for that thought, that I will type out this week. But for now, here is the video that was shared to me, it is worth the watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H34uLnuQbNQ Tomorrow is monday and also the first of the month. no prob peace. Jack
	5/27/20 beautiful sun shines into my bedroom this morning         Dived in on pt 4,5 several days ago and i feel emotionally heavy towards this leg of the project. i have a feeling like things are coming to a close- this section of my story is wrapping up. i feel attachment to this story. i have shared my head with these characters, these spaces. built this world and i dont want to leave it growth is important. burdens and challenges are tests for growth. hardship, fear of unknown, frustration- all building blocks of learning things and pushing yourself Whatever I end up pursuing, just know it will be hitter after hitter. cuz im growing up and idont care note to self:::: Always make the story board first thing. helps so much with brain clutter during project (ive mentioned this on the blog previously but i keep on forgetting every other project) second note to self:::: I animate at my best after a night of bad sleep. I will feel crappy and worn down in my flesh but my brain fires on weird alien cylinders that add a lot of life to the physical movements during a straight ahead on a sequ. I should limit this hack because it is bad for my health. maybe limited too 1nce or 2ce per proj?
	5/25/20 I am thankful for all of the kind folk; the curious folk, the creative folk, the REFRESHING folk. I will Keep my eyes ahead. Pursue friendship with those that think for themselves, those that harvest unique visions. Those that pour their precious time and energy into stamping their fingerprints, not for fame, or any other motive, but for a confusing drive of what can be possible, and can be done. The nature of the internet makes me question things some times. The high-speed spread of ideas on social medias shows the virus qualities in humans. Is this good, or bad? Both, but there's got to be a way to use the velocity of spread to better advantage. I think social media as it exists is regression in what the net should be capable of, in terms of bringing creation to life. It is like the stone age of what SHOULD be here and available. We are jipped by the design of smart phones. They all have the same functional design that allows for certain things to be done very well- but many paths of interactivity are therefore blocked by that design sense. Note: I am working on organizing a low-resolution Texture pack for those hoping to dive into the crusty 3D realm. It will help many new 3D artists, I hope. thanks to everyone who shows love, interest, and support. You are special to me -PEoce out, JACK
	5/23/2020 Part 4.5 will need to be next. I wish I could have tied things up in pt 4 but I was overwhelmed a bit with the scale. 2d animation VS 3d animation, in a cage match boxing... the 2d animation takes way longer to get ready. Does the make up and stands in front of the mirror for an hour type shit. The 3d is like splashes water on his face and ties strings to his arms and legs and then walks out the door I will take a little time to think and plan I need to organize my FILES but I am AVOIDING IT because it is TEDIOUS JUST DO IT JACK (NIKE) and yeah i forgot the tires so f***********king what
	sketchball2 its alrite babe.... dont cry.........because i just realized some thing... i love world 4.... yyeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah dispatch come in dispatch- the monkeys have left the barrel i repeat the monkeys have left the barrel. Requesting all units- clown car shot north on beachway I have 2 patreon supporters- 2 more and I will ba able to buy a jet ski that I have been eyeing in the window of the bass professional shops. That Jet Ski Is The Apple Of My Eye........
	05/14/2020     Next week will bring lots of rain which will keep me inside doing the work diligently. The beautiful weather has been taking some of my focus away from my desk. At least we're still in quarantine....     I am really thankful for this whole thing. I am grateful to be able to focus my attention. I am thankful for a lot of things. I know it might sound selfish to say I am thankful for the current health crisis, But I am mad happy about the time I have to get this work done, and escape from the grind and dive into my preferred grind. images:
	May 11 2020     Got some animation work done this morning- I might move my desk somewhere else while it rains     A squirrel was trying to get in my room earlier we had a stare down and I broke first. Because dude- what the fuck are you doing?! im banging on the window right where he is posted up like spiderman and he';s not even flinching. I was yelling at him and he wouldn't move. Maybe he had good intentions?     I saw a mom squirrel teach a baby squirrel how to leap across branches the other day. It was a beautiful scene. The baby was a total chicken and wouldn't jump across and the mom just kept jumping back, nudging the young gun, then leaping, and repeating it to show how its done. Mad cute     Here is some concept sketch for what I want the characters to look like in their 2d animated state. While in the car driving, at least.     I have to study guns a bit. Guns and cars- just guy shit (study time bitch) I have trouble moving a gun around in my head. Same with autos. The perspective doesnt match what it should. Re train my brain
	May 8th 2020 A lot of artists are competing with third world wages in the spaces I find myself in- I don't necessarily enjoy doing the grunt work on my own projects- the tedious, time-consuming, mind-numbing aspects that are repetitive and boring- BUT, I find a voice in my head reassuring me that it is all worth it for what you will eventually have realized through this hard work- A completed project that is my vision, my baby, something that is wholly mine and that I slaved over like a farmer and his crop. And this is an interpersonal feeling, a tug-of-war game, but I believe the passion I have spills out to the viewer. Communicating an obsession The drive that pushes me through- I don't think money (especially the pennies that most artists are thrown) would ever give me the same carrot on the stick that the raw pursuit of creation gives me. So I don't want to work my way through the rat race to the top, down the typical path. The pay off seems not-worth-it. Working at some dog shit company for years and years hoping youll one day have the chance to express a vision on a larger scale, meanwhile being the monkey at the desk slaving over the background of some scene for a sequence that you know sucks balls. Nor do I want to traverse the tunnel to the bottom and work for the 3rd world chump pay. So I gotta make my own space. and crush the surroundings. so my space stands tall and i can lead a way (not THE way, but a way)
	May 7th 2020 I am finding it hard to dive in on the next section of the project. I have a large mountain to climb before I can move forward with my vision. It is a stylistic AND technical decision. That's okay, and its okay to take my time with it. I have begun storyboarding large format now. before I used smaller paper. But I am liking the large squares... from experience, Once I have the story board, the process becomes infinitely easier for me to sift through the weeds. I actually might have to restart this one because I have neglected to scribe close detail to camera motions/sweeps I like the idea of creating "design documents" if i am not up to working on the animation that day- it still gets some work done but is "lighter" work. It solidifies my ideas in a neat way so moving forward has a bit more oil. I blew out both of my wrists the other day. So working kind of hurts right now. It has me really bummed out, more than I thought it would. I experience fatigue in my wrists much sooner now from PC use. I am trying to heal them fast. Because it fucking sucks if I am being honest More updates will be coming soon, Thank You for checking out my blog
	04-21/2020 Do: Realize that putting massive time and energy into a unique idea- a creation from minds that might be an otherwise passing thought- is one of the most rewarding and powerful pursuits available to human Not the idea pattern we generate directly from media or culture. Rather, the pattern that is difficult to translate to others. the ideas that are intertwined with our stream of consciousness, these ideas manifest with indirect influence from media and culture. Context of that influence is usually clouded, even to our minds. This happens incidentally, because we exist in modern day and are not monks at the top of the mountains Both sleep and waking dreams deserve to be translated to something beyond writing (I don't really enjoy reading written descriptions of these types of thoughts,) I think these videos are part of my quest to find the best medium for this idea of ideas. So far I like what is achievable with the style I have running peace - jack
	April 18th 2020 I can get used to this How do I achieve a life of creation? I need help from u and you and you and you. everyone gives 1 dollar (on earth) i will have 8 billion dollars. then i should be set for most of my life but i could use a little more so i will just buy money printer for good measure (keep it stored in an apartment building downtown) today i have begun organizing all my pc files and boy is it a lot of stuff to sort throu (the real pain is renaming files and making sure everything i need liquid is liquid enough to draw back on. mostly for blender files that i neglect to pack in the assetts. because im retarded. thats ok these are just secretarial duties while i dream
	April 7th 2020     having a dream of popularity...gives you a plot of terrible soil to plant anything of value     When you attempt to appeal to millions     You end up with something void of individuality     be yourself make what you wana make or dont
	Old Entry First: Jack Kradolfer Human if you go through the life labryinth too seriously it will chew you up. Existence is bizarre, but all aspects of it are endlessly valuable. Even the worst things are good things. No good and bad in the universe, only states of on or off. Use the slice of pie you were gifted, your On state, to its fullest. Don't let a damn obstacle get in the way of achieving your dreams. Make it happen buddy, cuz i believe in you 2019 december 12 2019 december 12 New Entry some day i will be able to express vision without chain and i don't mind carrying torch lamp as it burns my hand i feel a stronger push to light the path to a brighter future for creative liberation- visual art unchained and uncompromised  catalogued and made available for everyone to see
	fog      3/15/20   2+ weeks of very little progress due to poor idea management. bogged down by the narrative details: always changing in my head and i am a poor writer of anything narrative so when i spit on paper it all became trash. so i tried to wade through the complications, but that could only get me so far; it makes everything more confusing because the goals/final draft become unclear. the answer was having neo just selling thee acid: no bullllllllshiiiiiiiiittttttt jack >=)
	you  [12/3/19]  can change the world any 1 can